Successfully Handle Behavior Problems in Children

Shana Schutte has put together a great resource over at Focus on the Family dealing with how to Successfully Handle Behavior Problems.  Below is a most of the opening article with links to plans for each age group of children.  A worthwhile read for all parents.

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Dr. Leman is the author of numerous books including Have a New Kid by Friday. In this book, Dr. Leman gives humorous, insightful and effective advice on many behavioral problems for every childhood age and stage. If potty training is driving you crazy, he's got it covered. If you need help teaching your kids to become more respectful of one another, he can help. And if you want to prevent your teens from lighting up, Dr. Leman addresses that, too. In this module we'll share Dr. Leman's expert advice on these and many other parenting challenges, including eating and undereating challenges, wardrobe issues, tattling and put-downs.

Before we begin, Dr. Leman has a few reminders for parents to keep in mind when dolling out discipline.

Remember that your child wants to please you

During my fourth year as a teacher, I taught art to high-energy, hormonal sixth-graders. By March of the school year, I was convinced that although I enjoyed teaching, it wasn't God's calling for my life. So, one week before school ended, I announced that I would be moving on. I wasn't surprised that some of my students weren't sad that I was leaving, but I was surprised that one student in particular cried when I announced my departure.

Owning books increases the odds of your child graduating from college

ScienceDaily (May 21, 2010) — Whether rich or poor, residents of the United States or China, illiterate or college graduates, parents who have books in the home increase the level of education their children will attain, according to a 20-year study led by Mariah Evans, University of Nevada, Reno associate professor of sociology and resource economics.

For years, educators have thought the strongest predictor of attaining high levels of education was having parents who were highly educated. But, strikingly, this massive study showed that the difference between being raised in a bookless home compared to being raised in a home with a 500-book library has as great an effect on the level of education a child will attain as having parents who are barely literate (3 years of education) compared to having parents who have a university education (15 or 16 years of education). Both factors, having a 500-book library or having university-educated parents, propel a child 3.2 years further in education, on average.

Easter - God's Wonderful Surprise from the Jesus Storybook Bible

My first time experience flying Southwest Airlines

First, it should be stated that we own Southwest Airlines stock (ticker LUV).  And I am a Southwest Rapid Rewards member.

This past week was my first experience with Southwest Air.  I had heard about them, and I loved their business model.  I have always thought them to be a solid company in an industry known for very poor operations.

So we got some tickets from Minneapolis to Denver (and back) to give it a test since they are fairly new in our MSP market.  Boarding worked well, though was a bit panic inducing since we were traveling with a 7 month old infant for the first time.  Thankfully we found out we could gate check a car seat and stroller and they would only count as "1" against our bag total.  We have a Graco SnugRider Infant Car Seat Stroller.  We like the SnugRider because it is light and compact and our Graco Sungride 35 Infant car seat attaches to this stroller.

So we push our stroller through the airport, and when time comes to board our plane to Denver, we gate check the stroller and car seat as we were told to do.  When we arrive in Denver, we discover that one of the rear wheels has been smashed so hard by something that it has bent the solid metal axle, and is causing the stroller to be difficult to push.  But we are in a hurry, and it looks like we can bend the axle back when we get back home, so we make haste to get out of the airport without making a stink.  Thankfully we didn't need the stroller while in Denver, we were able to borrow my brother-in-law's Bob Revolution Stroller they recently got for their child.  BTW, the Bob Revolution Stroller is an AWESOME stroller.  I got to use it a number of times during our visit.

So we are thinking it must be a random accident that our stroller was damaged.  I mean after all, the baggage handlers in the Southwest Airlines commercials all seem nice, competent and moderately professional.

On our return trip to Minneapolis, we again push our now damaged stroller, which frustrates us throughout the process of our check-in and getting to our gate.  The stroller pushes hard because of the bent wheel fighting to go a different direction than the other three wheels, but it beats nothing for sure. 

Upon arrival at our gate (C-28) we are met by a mass of humanity that had been snowed in at DIA with the heavy snow that had fallen Tuesday into Wednesday of this week.  We get in line in standard Southwest cattle call fashion and again we gate check our stroller and car seat as we enter the plane.  We then proceed to sit at the gate in the airplane for the next 95 minutes.  Yes, at the gate.  Not even waiting for de-icing, or in line to take off.  Full plane sitting at the gate.  Our 7 month old son is good for about 90 minutes.  The flight between Denver and Minneapolis takes about 90 minutes, so on the way out things went great.  Unfortunately, we hit the 90 minute point and still had yet to shove off.  So the next hour involved a crying squirming grumpy infant.  Thankfully those near us were gracious.  Thankfully for our sanity as parents, he fell asleep about 1/2 way through the flight.

So upon our arrival at Minneapolis (the Humphery Terminal) they hand us our stroller as we get off the plane.  We notice right away that the stroller is now really jacked up.  Now not only is the back wheel bent from the flight out to Denver, but now the front wheel on the same side is bent in multiple places as well and is no longer pointing forward like it was designed to.  On the front of the stroller, there are two wheels on each side that are parallel to each other like  |-| but now that front set looks like \-/ and twisted about 15 degrees off its proper axis.  We complain to the Southwest staff at the gate as we exit, and they tell us we need to talk with the Baggage Claim Office.

So now the stroller is really hard to push and does not want to go straight.  Ever had that really bad shopping cart at the grocery store?  That was us with luggage and a grumpy infant.

Southwest Airlines - where your bags fly free but we'll beat the crap out of your gate check stroller.

So my wife goes to the Baggage Claim Office to file a complaint while I retrieve our luggage.  Their response to our complaint was to tell us it is our fault for buying a nice stroller.  "You should just use one of those umbrella strollers" is an exact quote.  Customer Service FAIL.  We beat the crap out of your stuff, now we're blaming you.

My wife asks at the Baggage Claim Office if there is a system in place to alert the management of the baggage handlers for Southwest that this damage is occurring.  Lady kinda blows my wife off and says she'll let them know.  Doubt it.  Once is a mistake, but both flights causing damage and something is seriously wrong.

And as if that isn't enough, when they were unloading our plane they somehow managed to "jam" the bag conveyor in back, which meant we had to wait about 45 minutes for our bags to come out.  Mine came out before the jam, but my wife and son's were stuck somewhere in bag purgatory for a period. 

So I have sent a note to Southwest, and am hoping for a response.  We will see what they say.

Justice eating peas, rice cereal and carrots

This is the kind of video that mostly only grandmas are interested in watching, but if you like watching infants eat, give it a run! Nearly 13 minutes of messy faced goodness!  I do recommend clicking through to Vimeo and watching it at full screen size to get the best detail for viewing.

An interesting morning

Got a call from our day care provider that she is sick today. So I spent part of the early morning tracking down a place to take our son for the day. Thankfully someone had an opening so it will all work out. I suppose if I had to I could stay home and get some work done in the worst case scenario, but I pray I never have to do that. I love my son, but I would probably get very little done while watching him (which is what happens every Friday when I do take care of him all day.

Once that was taken care of, I realized I was abnormally hungry. So I dug through the cabinets in the kitchen and found a box of A Taste of Thai Peanut Noodles. These are microwavable noodles, so I thought I would give them a chance. They are surprisingly tasty! I got a real nice mouth warmth on the first bite that is still lingering 10 minutes after eating. The flavor is excellent! I am very impressed. The only thing that was not perfect is that due to the microwave the noodles get a bit gummy, but that is a very minor detail. I would also add more peanuts, but I understand that is a personal preference as well as a cost saving measure by the company. I'll be buying more of these for sure. 4 minutes in the microwave and top it with some protein and you'd have a great supper.

Graco Pack n Play for Christmas

When my parents asked what they should get our son for Christmas, one thing immediately came to mind - Graco Pack 'n Play Playard in Bugs Quilt. We really need something for our son when we travel for him to sleep in, and also to play in if we don't know the environment we will be going to. Right now he doesn't crawl or walk, but they aren't far down the road so this will be a fantastic gift we will get a crazy amount of use out of. We will also use it around the house as it it nice to know you have a safe place you can put your child while you run to the bathroom or answer the phone or whatever.

After doing quite a bit of looking at various Pack n Play option, this one clearly fit our need best. First, it is the largest among the normal pack n plays on the market giving our growing son more room to play in. Most of the pack n plays that I looked at are rated through 2 years of age, this one goes to 3 years. I suspect by the time he is three we won't be using it a whole lot, but it might still serve as a travel bed for our son at that age. The colors are bright with red, blue, yellow and green sides. There are various things (butterflies) for the child to play with sewn into the mesh sides. The butterflies are above where a child's face might press while sleeping, so there are no worries there. It does weigh 24lbs, but that really is only about 3lbs more than most of the other ones on the market.

Another thing I really liked is how all the reviewers raved about the simplicity of set up for this. When you have a screaming/crying child and you want it set up, you don't want some complex mechanism or multiple parts, and this pack n play is particularly simple to set up.

So some time in the next 7-10 days it should arrive and we'll set it up and give it a run. I'm excited to get it!

Excellent Biblical Parenting Resources from Mars Hill Church

Mars Hill - Biblical Parenting Resources:

In October 2008, Mars Hill Church hosted a Biblical Parenting Conference with Dr. Tedd Tripp, who presented biblical teaching on topics from formative instruction to corrective discipline. Listen to streaming audio or watch video by clicking on the links below.

Session 1: Helping Kids Understand Authority – Tedd Tripp

• Audio
• Video

Session 2: Helping Kids Understand the Heart – Tedd Tripp

• Audio
• Video

Session 3: Overview of Corrective Discipline – Tedd Tripp

• Audio
• Video

Session 4: Giving Kids a Vision for God’s Glory – Tedd Tripp

• Audio
• Video

Session 5: The Call to Formative Instruction – Tedd Tripp

• Audio
• Video

For more on parenting, check out these resources:

• Shepherding a Child’s Heart, Tedd Tripp
• Instructing a Child’s Heart, Tedd Tripp
• Pastor Dad, free e-book by Mark Driscoll

(HT: Brenton Balvin)

The Significance of Spiritual Activity as a Child

With all of the time, money and effort that parents and churches invest in the spiritual growth of children, we find ourselves often wondering if there is really any statistical connection between childhood faith and adult religious commitment. A recent study by the Barna Group provides new insights into the age-old question.

The survey asked adults to think back on their upbringing and to describe the frequency of their involvement in Sunday school or religious training. The researchers then compared these responses to the current level of faith activity of these adults.

More than 80 percent of adults remembered consistently attending Sunday school or some other religious training before the age of 12. Seven out of 10 adults (69%) said they attended such programs weekly.

About 70 percent also recalled going to Sunday school or other religious programs for teens at least once a month. Half (50%) indicated they had gone to such teen programs at least once a week when growing up.

In connecting childhood and teen engagement with adult spirituality, the Barna team used four elements of adult religious commitment: attending church, having an active faith (defined as reading the Bible, praying and attending church in the last week), being unchurched, and switching from childhood faith.

"Those who attended Sunday school or other religious programs as children and teens were much more likely than those without such experiences to attend church and to have an active faith as adults," concluded the report. Fifty percent of those who attended such programs as a child said they have attended a worship service in the last week, which is slightly higher than the national average and much higher than those who did not attend such programs as children. Among those who frequently attended religious programs as teens, 58 percent said they had attended a worship service in the last week.

Being unchurched or changing from one's childhood faith were also correlated to early-life spiritual experiences. The study asked if people had the same faith perspectives today as when the were children or whether they had ever significantly changed their views. Twenty-two percent of those who recalled frequent religious attendance as children had changed their faith views from those held as a child. Among those who attended religious programs as teens, 21 percent had changed their core faith views.

David Kinnaman, president of Barna Group, noted, "It is important to clarify what this research does and does not indicate. First, correlation does not imply causation. This means that the research does not prove that spiritual activity as a young person causes spiritual engagement as an adult. In fact, the research confirms the pattern that many students who are active in early life disengage from their faith as they get older. And people's recollections of childhood activities are only one limited way of understanding faith durability. ... [However,] it provides clarity that the odds of one sticking with faith over a lifetime are enhanced in a positive direction by spiritual activity under the age of 18."

(from FotF's Pastor's Weekly Briefing)

Our son's dedication at First Congregational Church of Waseca, MN

We dedicated our son, Justice, last Sunday at First Congregational Church of Waseca, MN. Both sets of grandparents were there for this which was really nice. Special thanks to Mr. Al Judd for helping with the ceremony and issuing the charges!

Teaching children to be grateful and generous

Gimme, Gimme!

by Dr. Bill Maier

On Christmas morning, after devouring Mom's legendary homemade sticky buns, the Stevens family gathers around the Christmas tree. The three kids — Danny, 10, Molly, 8 and Christopher, 6 — excitedly begin opening their presents.

Their parents' joy soon turns to dismay as they observe the children's behavior. Like hungry sharks in a feeding frenzy, Danny, Molly and Christopher greedily rip open each gift only to toss it aside, searching for another package bearing their names.

Particularly troubling to Sharon and Rick Stevens is that none of the kids acknowledges the relatives who sent the gifts in the first place. They show zero interest in opening the cards attached to the gifts. After each child opens the final gift, all three continue to search for still more presents, making comments such as "Is that all I get?" or "How come Molly got more presents than I did?"

Greedy

Unfortunately, the Stevens' experience is common. In a materialistic, consumer oriented culture, we face a real challenge in teaching thankfulness and contentment to children. They are conditioned to believe they are entitled to everything they want — now! Kids have also come to believe they should always get the biggest and best.

The Center for a New American Dream reports another disturbing trend known as the nag factor. Its recent surveys found that nearly 60 percent of kids nag their parents for a toy or a privilege even after being given a no. In fact, 10 percent of all 12- and 13-year-olds admit they will beg their parents more than 50 times for products they've seen on TV.

Grateful

Christian parents are called to cultivate character traits such as thankfulness, generosity and self-sacrifice. The Bible commands us, "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Jesus warns us, "Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions" (Luke 12:15). And Paul describes greedy people as idolaters who will not inherit the kingdom of God (Ephesians 5:5).

One of the most effective ways to combat the cultural mind-set is by modeling a grateful attitude. Verbally thank God on a regular basis, even for simple things like a roof over your head and food.

Also, do your best to model gratitude in your other relationships: friends, relatives and co-workers — and not only when they do something special for you. Let others know how much you appreciate them simply for who they are. Express that kind of unconditional gratitude to your spouse and children as well.

Generous

You can help your kids learn to be generous by serving others who are less fortunate. Christmastime is ideal for service projects. Your family might volunteer to serve Christmas dinner at a local rescue mission or visit residents at a nursing home, singing carols and delivering Christmas cookies.

The majority of children receive a boatload of new toys each year. They soon lose interest in most of these toys, which wind up collecting dust in a closet, basement or storage bin. One family I know has instituted a Christmas tradition in which each of their kids chooses several of his or her old toys to donate to a homeless shelter or a local charity. They deliver the toys as a family the week before Christmas, so their children can see where their toys are being donated and experience the joy of giving away their possessions.

Christmas also provides an excellent opportunity to start sponsoring a poor child in a developing country through an organization such as World Vision or Compassion International. Our family sponsors a little girl in Indonesia. When our children are old enough, we plan to take a short-term missions trip to Java to meet her.

Finally, while your kids are still on vacation, set aside an afternoon for them to write handmade thank-you notes to the friends and relatives who gave them gifts. Even young children can participate by decorating simple cards with crayons, stickers and rubber stamps. Make this a family project, as you help your children learn to develop the "language of gratitude" through words and pictures.

A proud day in a father's life

I taught our son Justice something new today - the fake fart noise. I can't wait until we can unleash the armpits!

Newest of the Meirose Clan - our Baby BOY!

Born Monday August 3rd at 7:00PM in the Owantonna, MN hospital. 7lbs 10oz 21 inches long! Mom and baby are doing well, and dad is doing fine too! We have not officially named him yet, but we're pretty sure what it will be and will likely make it official yet tonight.

Update: The official name is Justice Graceson Meirose. I've like the name Justice for about 6 months (an attribute of God), and my wife really like Grace (to balance the Justice), but we didn't feel it was masculine enough. We debated a couple of spellings the last 48 hours, and in the end settled on the straightforward versions of both names. I kinda like the Germanic "Justus" and my wife liked Gracyn, but neither won out in the end.

Quiet but busy

Sorry it has been so quiet here on my blog. It's been a combination of preparation for our pending firstborn child (due July 19th!) and the fact that I have been working hard to get a house remodeled prior to that arrival (a rental we own). Things will return to normal soon hopefully, whatever "normal" is with a newborn. We are excited to meet and discover the person God has formed in my wife! We can't wait to see early personality traits etc. So I'll keep trying to come up for air from time to time, but be patient with me, I will return to a more normal posting pattern eventually!

The big annoucement

My wife and I are expecting our first child!

Due late July 2009! We are excited obviously!! We shared this with our church today as well. So 2009 will bring a lot of changes in our lives. This past Thursday we got to see our first images via ultrasound and then we got to hear the heartbeat for the first time. Truly a miracle, both the child as well as the technology. My wife has the heartbeat recorded on her phone, so if you want to hear it, just ask, she'll be overjoyed to share it with you! The jagged line across the bottom of the photo above is the heartbeat, pumping along like a small train at 164 beats per minute. Doc said things are going well, and we'll get another checkup in 4 more weeks. So I would ask and invite that you pray for all three of us in the months to come. Pray that we are great parents to this gift from God. Pray for a healthy mom and baby. And pray for wisdom for me. Thanks!